happiness

Because I’m in charge of my stress level.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed looking at all the things I’m trying to stay on top of. Even though they’re pretty much all things I want to be doing, the list just always seems like it has more things on it than I can actually do well at any given time, and something is always suffering. Sometimes that freaks me out so much that I stop wanting to do anything at all. I try to keep it to myself but I feel really cranky and unpleasant. Maybe that starts to leak out on people who don’t deserve it. More often, it’s bottled up until it’s SO FREAKING HUGE THAT I JUST HATE EVERYTHING AND WANT TO QUIT, and looking at my schedule makes me want to cry.  And then I get sick, because that’s the easiest way to get permission from yourself to drop your obligations for a little while.

How stupid is that? Not a very in-charge attitude, that’s for sure.

I came up with a better way to deal with that overwhelm, and it’s yet another calendar. No, really…bear with me here.

I use Google calendars for this – but whatever system you use will work too. As you can see on the right, I separate my events and appointments by using a bunch of different color-coded calendars so I can easily view or not view different categories and share or not share them as needed. The key thing is that I can turn the view on or off for each calendar, so it’s easy to look at everything at once for an overview (and to avoid double-booking myself), or only focus on certain categories. Theoretically you can use the color-coding to see how you’re doing at keeping balance in the different areas of your life.

So on to the new calendar – the HELL YEAH calendar. Make yourself one. Call it something else if that language is a bit spicy for you—or maybe not spicy enough! Maybe you’d rather have the “F YEAH” calendar, or “Oh My, Yes”, or “Miss Petunia’s Special Moments”, or “Rock Out With Your” never mind. If the name makes you giggle a little, you’re doing it right.

Now: At least once a month, and anytime you’re starting to feel like you’re not sure you can keep juggling all of the things, TURN OFF ALL OF THE OTHER CALENDARS. What’s on the HY calendar? Anything? If not, get something on there now. Maybe it’s a massage or a pedicure. Maybe a trip to the bookstore. Maybe a movie, or a couple of hours on the couch playing video games. It doesn’t even have to be in the “self-care” category. Maybe it’s volunteering at a soup kitchen or sneaking someone an anonymous gift. Whatever works for you. There should be something on that calendar at least once a month, though that’s being pretty cheap with yourself. Once a week is better. It can be big or small, for you or for someone else, as long as the main reason for doing it is that it makes you feel really happy.

As with everything, my practice is always imperfect. But this really is something that makes me feel a lot better when things get too hectic. (Actually just step one, turning off all the other calendars, goes a long way.) It’s a great reminder that every single thing I put on my plate is there by my choice, and I’m the only one responsible for making sure I’m choosing the things I want. It’s easy to lose sight of that and to let things that don’t take you where you really want to go fill up your time. I’d rather crowd out the “meh” with the HELL YEAH. How about you?